Victoria

Yes, that is a bra on the wall above my head.

Getting back to my tale of fun in Victoria: following the party in the
library, where we tried to make the most of the open bar, we got
invited up to a room on the "Gold Level" (WHERE do these people get
their money???) to hang out. At least I thought we were invited. When
we got to the room, we learned that the invite was really wishful
thinking on the part of Tino; some drunken 18-year-old had ivited him
up to her room, but there was (thank goodness) a grownup in the room
who turned us away, saying they were doing "an intervention" and
little miss was not allowed to drink any more.

At which point Kirsten and I ditched Tino, on the grounds that we had
to be at a business meeting first thing in the morning and we had to
be responsible to our members who footed the bill to send us to this
conference etc etc etc. Then we hit the pub.

Kirsten dragged me to this pub she knew. It had kind of a small-town
highschooly feel to it ... full of drunken frat boys and old men and
bleach blondes in amazingly short skirts. There was ... stuff, just
random stuff, tacked all over the walls, inclding handwritten lists of
all the cheesiest highschool euphemisms for drunkenness, photos,
doodles, and, oh yeah, bras.

So Kirsten took off with some guy, forgetting her super-cool
sunglasses because they were on my face, and I was amusing myself
chatting up some German tourists, when in comes this bleach blonde in
an ultra-micro-mini and a beauty pageant sash that says, "birthday
girl" on it. The first thing she says on coming in the door is "OH MY
GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE MY MOM'S BRA IS HANGING ON THE WALL IN THIS
BAR!!!" Then she catches sight of me (fat broad all in black with
super-cool sunglasses and her hair down, chatting with German tourist
boys) and she staggers over and says "OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL,
DO YOU KNOW THAT???? DON'T LET ANYONE HOLD YOU BACK, LIVE YOUR
LIFE!!!!" (Damn I hate it when hot girls assume they have to help you
with your fuckin self esteem just because you're fat) so I said to her
"Thanks hun! Your skirt is very short! Don't do anything stupid, OK?"
Then she sat down with my pals the German boys. And they suddenly quit
paying attention to me. So I had a mini tantrum and stormed out of the
bar & went back to my hotel. I wasn't half a block up the street when
I regretted my rash actions and wanted to go back and keep having fun,
but then Ms. Responsible kicked in and said, "Oh well, you have to be
at a business meeting first thing anyway, best get some rest."

Yeah, SERIOUSLY overdid the partying that weekend.

Tags: shapeshifter